Bad political fiction

It couldn't happen here.

If I were going to write a bad piece of political fiction, I’d start with a headline like “Biden documents find ends Trump indictment peril.” I’d follow up by suggesting that the documents in Biden’s old office at Penn Biden were a plant because the string-pullers in both parties don’t really want the former president, failed insurrectionist and serial tax evader prosecuted for anything. The document plant in his Delaware garage was a backup just in case the press was able to rationalize how different Biden’s actions were from those of his predecessor. Jack Smith’s appointment as Special Counsel was intended to take the pressure and political heat off of AG Merrick Garland so that he could show that he’d done something to support the rule of law in the face of a nationally televised speech suborning insurrection and the assault on the nation’s Capital that followed from it. The side stories of the rest of the treacherous team from Merde-a-Loco and their various legal engagements would drag on for at least the 19 months before the nominating conventions with one or two occasionally indicted, sometimes convicted, and invariably released on appeal to continue their grifting and planning before they are locked up to serve a ridiculously reduced sentence.

Throughout the story there would be a running recapitulation of the fundraising done based on either support for or opposition to the former president with totals in the billions to PACs, Super PACs, and Party Central committees as well as organizations to Save Democracy, Make America Gag Again, and the consultants that make them all work and direct where the advertising money goes. While there would be occasional outcries from people who really did want to see justice done and those who would overthrow the government held to account for their crimes, they would be derided as a looney bin fringe who could safely and properly be ignored because, after all, they weren’t going to win anyway. The Republican primary season would be a repeat of 2016, leaving out the golden escalator ride, and the Democrats would, based on his record of accomplishments, nominate President Biden for a second term with Amy Klobuchar replacing Vice President Harris after her nomination to fill the Supreme Court vacancy left by the death of Justice Thomas.

At this point, I’d have to steal a tactic from Allen Drury and write two conclusions, one in which the Biden/Klobuchar ticket rides to an overwhelming victory following a contentious campaign rife with assassination attempts, at least one life-threatening medical incident and the kidnapping for blackmail of a close relative of one of the candidates. Both members of the defeated Republican ticket would concede defeat, one cordially, one grudgingly and the 119th Congress would be sworn in without incident, passing on their first day a set of rules for the House restoring regular order to the legislative process and committing the government to bipartisan action on all of the issues that had accumulated, unresolved, in the 118th under Speaker McCarthy and his successors.

The ‘Come Nineveh, Come Tyre’ ending would, after many of the same activities during the campaign season, end with Trump triumphantly redux, and Vice President Lake taking their oaths in an invitation only ceremony at the White House under heavy guard with the oath administered by Chief Justice Kavanaugh. The rest beggars imagination, but it would never happen here anyway because it’s just bad political fiction. Isn’t it?