If you’re wondering what your kids are reading, watching, listening to or seeing on the internet, and you’re thinking about removing some things from their sight, think about this:
1) Read it, watch it, listen to it, or check it out before you say anything to them. Do it yourself, don’t believe what you read in the papers, hear on the news, or see on the ‘net.
2) If you want to restrict your kids from some items, think about why, and make up your arguments before you present them. Even write them down to help organize your thoughts. Then, rehearse your conversation to yourself or your partner and see how it sounds. (N.B. if your partner doesn’t agree with you, work that out before you talk to the kids.)
3) If, after the rehearsal, your argument still makes sense, set a time to sit down with the kids away from the table, the TV and any other distractions and have the discussion. Make sure they understand that questions are not just acceptable but invited; they deserve your full attention, and this has to be a discussion, not an edict.
4) If your discussion doesn’t convince you and your partner, it won’t convince your kids either. If you feel strongly about the matter, instead of being dictatorial, present the issue and agree to read the book, watch the show, listen to the music, or check out the web site with your kids and then discuss it with them. If they’re uncomfortable with that idea, that’s a separate and very important conversation that you need to have.
5) Recognize, after all this, that if your kids want to see, read, or hear something, they’re going to do so, just like you did and don’t ever forget that they’re yours and you have to work through their growing up, including being scared about how it’s going to work out.
6) If your kids respond to your concern by saying they aren’t really interested in the topic of conversation, leave it alone. Don’t, under any circumstances, try to restrict other kids and their parents from an activity that you don’t like because, in the end, it’s none of your business.
Wise!